Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves

I can't help but feel stuck. Like I'm missing something.
The daily grind eludes me, yet inspiration is evasive.
That feeling you get when you are forgetting something is a constant buzz in my eardrums.
My whole body aches with anxiousness, yet I continue to lie still, in my bed, until 2pm.
Distractions, distractions, distractions.

Maybe I place too much on my own self importance. After all, I'm just a tiny wee speck of glittering dust floating around for a few short decades. Perhaps these jobless, artless, readingless, weeks which have all run together amongst tequila and cheap beer really don't have much of an impact at all. Though, I can't help but feel like I'm meant for more. Something's calling me and I just can't seem to find the damn phone.

You'd think with all the free time being unemployed lends you, I'd take more advantage of it. I could be doing anything! Yet, I can't even drag my sorry ass out of bed early enough to transfer my lazy body onto a towel outside to work on my tan. My oil paints are lonely and my canvas' are still screaming white. My journal hasn't seen a pen in two months and my banjo is gathering dust in the corner, whining out of tune.

Things I have paid attention too as of late: my evil blackberry, beer, tequila, firefly vodka, sex, sex, and more sex.

Blackberries can kiss my ass. Technology is a bitch. And texting is the devil's advocate. How is it that I was most happy living in a tent for three months, without cell phone service, spotty wifi, no television, and outdoor kitchens and showers but came back and got a FUCKING BLACKBERRY?!? Not even a whole year into societal pressures and materialism reers its ugly head. I need the newest best thing. I've got to keep up with the jones' and be connected allllll the time. That way I can get my photo comments instantly from facebook. That way an email, text, or friend request will never go unnoticed for even an hour. GREAT. Maybe i'll get lucky and start tweeting or whatever the shit. Then lady gaga can follow ME.

You know whats even worse about all of this? Ive had this same post up on my computer for the past three days. I can't even get this done. Productive, Charmaine. Productive.